The Guardian carries a scathing article on the brutal aftermath of the Hutton Report, written by Thom Yorke of all people.

I am staring at a photo of Campbell at the foot of some grand stairs, mewing and preaching about truth. An unelected, unanswerable force who was willing to destroy the integrity of others and make their lives unbearable to save his skin and that of his masters.

What made our state broadcaster RTE comission Des Bishop’s Work Experience is beyond me. Here’s the pitch for this obnoxious and painfully unfunny series of documentaries.

Mr Bishop (originally some rich little asshole from over the pond who moved over here in his teens to become a slightly bigger asshole) spends four months working in four minimum wage jobs in Ireland. The narrative is spliced with cutouts from his own standup routine.

The first job/show was as a fast food worker in Abrakebabra in Waterford. As Mr Bishop points out repeatedly and at length, Abrakebabra serves slightly exotic junk food (eg; fries w/ taco meat) to the pissed masses en route home from the pub. The poor guy is taking it in the ass to bring us a slice of life in the toilet end of the Celtic Tiger at 7 euros a hour.

Except he isn’t really. Sure, he has to live with students, clean puke and finish at 7 am. And he gets to tell us all how terrible it is, how sick the society is that allows people to work in such a shithole for fuckall. But at the back of it all, he has the production fee for the program taking his effective wage up by a factor of 5, 10 or 20. Not to mention the fact that this isn’t his life, he’s got his meeja hoor D4 set lifestyle to go back to after slumming it.

And I could have forgiven this useless cunt that had he been funny, informative or entertaining. But the guy’s a chancer, like most Paddys. Here’s his schtick: He’s a loud mouth yank who got beat up in school for being a loudmouthed dickhead. Apparently this stuck in this guys craw a little. So, Des grows up and becomes a standup comedian dedicated to telling us all how shit it is to live here, how in any other country in the world THEY BRING THEIR TRAY BACK TO THE COUNTER AFTER THEY’VE FINISHED THEIR MEAL. HOW HE HAD TO BUY HIS OWN UNIFORM. HOW THE MOST EXPENSIVE MEAL IN ABRAKEBABRA COSTS MORE THAN THE HOURLY MINIMUM WAGE. Oh, the humanity.

If you’ve ever worked a job like this, you just want to throttle the bastard as soon as he opens his mouth. What he’s done with this program is take the daily grind of working a shit job and splice it with his “withering critique on Irish culture”, four gag routine that he’s been trotting out his whole career. Chancing it, in other words. You know he had to learn that here.

I haven’t written anything here in ages - I kept on meaning to write some sort of a review of 2003, before 2003 actually ended, but people I meet for the first time this year are still saying “Happy New Year” to me so I figure I’m still in the New Year zone where reviews are acceptable …………..
(more…)

My favourite blogger seems to have quit blogging, reportedly to star in a series of Korean soft porn flicks. Keep an eye out for anything starring Kim “Dong” Il on the top shelf of your local video shop. In the meantime, ere’s the last entry in his Live Journal. *Sniff*

Soulseek user info for AppLeDouCHeBaG

***SEE USER PICTURE TO SEE IF YOU’RE A FUCKING RETARD***

***NOTE: Feel free to PM “wildcheetah” and let her know how much of a FUCKING RETARD she is. SHE FUCKING MAKES YOU ASK HER FOR PERMISSION TO DOWNLOAD. IT’S FUCKING RETARDS LIKE HER THAT MAKE SOULSEEK A GOD AWFUL PLACE AT TIMES. BANNED AND FUCKING IGNORED BITCH.

Remember kids, you may be selected as someone I check to see if you’re sharing any files! Why? Because I might wanna download something from you if you’re fast. So if you aren’t sharing, YOU’RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. BANNED AND IGNORED.

Also, if you’re only sharing your fucking incoming folder, BANNED AND IGNORED. There’s nothing I hate more than looking at your files and seeing only what you JUST FUCKING DOWNLOADED FROM ME.

On another note, DON’T FUCKING DOWNLOAD EVERY GOD DAMN ALBUM I HAVE. If you’re incredibly fast(as in a 100-200k per sec), I might not notice it if you do it while I’m asleep. BUT OTHER PEOPLE WANNA FUCKING DOWNLOAD FROM ME. So 3 album’s max you fuckasses. And that’s only if your fast. If I see you one of you fucking slow ass 56k douchebags downloading my entire collection at 0.5k per sec consider yourself BANNED AND IGNORED. Jesus Christ, atleast learn that your shitty ass modems CAN’T DOWNLOAD 900 THINGS AT THE SAMETIME WITHOUT PISSING EVERYONE ELSE OFF WITH YOUR SLOW ASS.

Also, and I’ll say this once, DON’T FUCKING PM ME UNLESS YOU HAVE TO. Really. I share my files for you to DOWNLOAD. I don’t share them for you to look at it with twiddling thumbs and thinking “Oh gee, I wonder if I can download this shared file on a file sharing network! Let me PM him to bug him!” If it’s shared, IT’S FUCKING MEANT TO BE DOWNLOADED. As long as you follow the one simple rule above, download as much as you fucking want. So if I don’t deem it important, FUCKING BANNED AND IGNORED ASSHOLE.

I REALLY FUCKING HATE the people who have a fucking FILE AMOUNT LIMIT. IF I FUCKING FIND OUT THAT I CAN’T DOWNLOAD MORE THAN SOME AMOUNT OF MEGS FROM YOU, CONSIDER YOURSELF FUCKING BANNED AND IGNORED. Why the FUCK would you limit the amount of fucking megabytes someone can get total? FUCKING FUCK THAT. BANNED AND FUCKING IGNORED(CUBETH THAT’S FUCKING YOU)

Oh hey! ANOTHER FUCKING THING I HATE ABOUT SOULSEEK USERS! Follow your OWN FUCKING RULES. If you only let people download 5 files max, then DO THE FUCKING SAME WHEN DOWNLOADING FROM ME. Also, if I get FUCKING BANNED BECAUSE YOU CAN’T FOLLOW YOUR OWN RULES, FUCK YOU, BANNED AND FUCKING IGNORED.

ALSO: I AM A FUCKING PRIVILEDGED DOWNLOADER SINCE I FUCKING DONATE. SUCK MY DICK

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PEOPLE WHO ARE PISSED AT BEING BANNED
——————————————————————————–

[christiancochs] call you mother and ask her to suck my dick

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[pete__morton] blatently ur a cock

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[fusionmoth] oh yeah…you’re a douche bag
Editor’s note: LOL! MY NAME IS APPLE DOUCHE BAG. BANNED.

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[$ergio] hey, appledouchebag, fucking you and your mother, asshole and you sukc my dick

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PEOPLE WHO CAN’T FUCKING READ WHAT I FUCKING JUST SAID:

[guga9] why you banned me??
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] READ THE FUCKING RULES DOUCHEBAG
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] BANNED AND IGNORED
[guga9] what do yoiu mean??
[guga9] what rules??
[guga9] hello?!?!?
[guga9] fuck you than
[guga9] explain your reasosns
[guga9] Hey you!! explain why you banned me!!
[guga9] Hello
[guga9] poor loser
[guga9] see you chicken

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MORE EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE WHO ARE FUCKING RETARDS(LIKE NIETZSCHE’S EX):
[djxslipnslide] can i download from u?
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] Because you asked, no
[djxslipnslide] y is that ?
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] READ MY FUCKING USER INFO
[djxslipnslide] i read em
[djxslipnslide] so i can dl from u ?
[djxslipnslide] but im banned
[djxslipnslide] u see thats y i asked
[djxslipnslide] yo please take me off
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] You’re fucking dumb
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] Go away
[djxslipnslide] y?
[djxslipnslide] i read ur user nfo
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] What’d you get in the reading comprehension part of the SAT’s? a 0? Jesus Christ
[djxslipnslide] nah
[djxslipnslide] i didnt
[djxslipnslide] ok can u unban me and i wont pm u
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] BANNED AND IGNORED
[djxslipnslide] thank u
[djxslipnslide] douchebag

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[moptop66] i know you said not to message you but i’m not sure why i’m banned..i’m trying to build my files back up after getting hit with a virus…if there’s anything you want- ask! i’ll let you know if i have it….
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] TO QUOTE MY MOTHERFUCKING PROFILE: Also, if you’re only sharing your fucking incoming folder, BANNED AND IGNORED. There’s nothing I hate more than looking at your files and seeing only what you JUST FUCKING DOWNLOADED FROM ME.
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN BANNED AND IGNORED

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After banning a retard because he queued up 4 albums and then preceded to download at 0.2k per sec and didn’t bother to cut down his queue like I asked him to:

[lemosc] i’m new with this stuff
[lemosc] don’t want to bother you
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] Then don’t
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] BANNED AND IGNORED
[lemosc] my english is not the best
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] BANNED MEANS NO FUCKING DOWNLOADS FOR YOU
[lemosc] so, you mean…
[AppLeDouCHeBaG] IGNORED MEANS GO THE FUCK AWAY
[lemosc] thanks for your co-op
[lemosc] bye stupid